my crossing

it's been quite awhile since the last time i post an entry here. madami na ring nagbago na hindi ko pala naikuwento dito. ewan ko ba, suddenly i lost my interest in writing, maybe it's because there was really nothing significant that i needed to take note in here, or pwede rin namang mas gusto kong alalahanin na lang ang mga bagay na un at balikan sa isipan ko ng di ko binabasa dito.

anyway, i'll share with you my thoughts from where i can still remember and siguro kahit papaano, masisiyahan din akong paulit ulit basahin at balikan ang mga alaalang iyon. i'll set aside my lovelife for it's been an open book on how madly in love i am with someone who doesnt feel the same. i feel love but he could only feel lust..u know what i mean, there's a big difference in those two. sometimes, i would think of myself to just play with his game para sumaya naman ako kahit konti because that would mean being with him, but once is enough.i already did and i guess i've had fair share of the experience so im leaving it that way na lang. oh well, so much for this and that about him, and allow me to just move on.

a couple of weeks ago, i was approached by our account manager to talk about something. clueless of what she's going to tell me, i was so nervous that time coz i was thinking baka bad shot ako sa finance manager namin sa US or i was asking myself if i had i done something wrong. when we were there na sa Senior Account Manager's office, the first thing that came out of her mouth was, "sol, i don't know how i am going to tell you this because i know it will hurt you  but they're planning to send the new people to the US for training". whuatttt?!!!! i can still remember how my mind screamed to the management for deception, if that's how to call it coz that's what i felt. i feel like the decision was so unjust because ..of a lot of things. my manager asked me to hear her out first before i curse them to the deepest pit of their soul, of course biro lang, im not like that naman..slight lang, haha. so anyways, she explained to me that since the US people are under staff because of some good people who left the company recently, they cannot afford daw to just have the training on the phone, just like what happened to me when i was just starting and God knows how hard it was for me and the trainer too because of the line connection and not to mention then language barrier though we understand each other, still it was just too difficult to absorb everything. since they dont want the same thing to happen again(they can admit it or not, i dnt care anymore) but that's the fact that's screaming out of my head, otherwise why would they suddenly decide of such.  in short, they want the training to be conducted there for so many reasons that could forever go on, that one thing is for sure, it will benefit everybody except me. so, to cut the long story short, i ddnt argue with the decisions anymore. afterall, what more can i say if the decision has already been served. i can contest and cry my heart out loud but it wouldn't alter a thing anymore, so why waste my energy pa. id rather use it to some alternative ways or probably decisions that would somehow lessen naman the pain that i was feeling that time.