my crossing

we've known each other for a couple of years na....it all started by a simple chat that blossomed into a true friendship....the first time that we talked, i already knew that i like this guy...but he doesn't feel the same way and so i satisfied myself to what he could just offer to me.... friendship.

he asked me one time to look for a girl for him for he's actually interested to start another relationship. and being a friend that i am, and knowing that's the only way i could continue communicating with him, since he ddnt even bothered to get my number and all...i agreed to introduce him to my two good friends...he got interested with one of them and that is where i began to feel that it's so painful to see someone you love happy with somebody else...but since you love him enough you would rather then just keep whatever it is to yourself and let him feel and have the happiness that he could never find in you...

i am a strong woman or so i thought...i entertained another guy in my life just to move on..but in fairness to the guy, i did loved him but i guess we are not just really meant for each other that's why after 11 months of spending each day together, we decided to separate ways...on his part, he courted my friend but they ddnt last long for my friend got herself committed to her carreer and he cannot bear to handle a long distance relationship...so they also separated ways, and after a month or so he got into another relationship.

years gone by and i never heard from him again...i moved on after the breakup hoping it did happened for a reason...i accepted my fate, optimistic that someone better than my ex would come along....i dated  other men but still i feel empty..im longing for someone who can really fill the void in my heart....until one day, we bumped into each other in the chatroom and i found out he got his girl pregnant., then i just informed him i already broke up with my ex bf.. i just found myself consoling and comforting him again, like what i normally do whenever he download his problems to me...but it never changed a bit of what i still feel for him, though somehow i was disappointed knowing he's gonna be a father soon and i already assumed that he's gonna marry the girl...but he told me not-so-good things about the girl that led him to breaking up with her, prior to the claiming of the girl that she's pregnant after the month they separated...he stood firm to his decision not to marry the girl because of wrong reasons..he doesnt want to jeopardize the sanctity of marriage...i started texting him again some encouraging msgs to lift up his spirit because he felt betrayed by the girl.

days  passed by and i was even surprised when after a week or two that we chatted, he just texted me how i was doing which i find kinda strange but kilig because he's not like that to me naman, so it's like nanibago ako. then i asked him why all of a sudden he texted me..i even kid him like maybe he's not busy at walang magawa..he just replied na wala lang he just thought of me daw suddenly...which again is kinda questionable for me....then after that i would sometimes text him msgs na just to know how he is coping with his problem and just to let him know that i remain his friend...

one sunday afternoon, while i was busy teaching my students, when i got back to my desk i saw a msg from him in my computer, coz i left my e-messenger online just in case some friends would be signing in...and that is where we started to talk again...he told me that he missed me somehow which i find unusual because for all these years that we've been chatting, no matter how seldom it happens in a year, he had never dared to ask me like that at all...we talked over the phone for the first time, i mean using landline cos he normally calls me in my cellphone...we had a long talk about life, our relationships and again his favor from me to look for a girl for him again, to which i turned down immediately cos i feel that i've done my part already and i dont wanna feel the same kind of feeling that happened way back ...he told me naman that he never at all took what happened against  me...it's just that d lang daw talaga nag work out ang relationship...then before we ended the call, he asked me if i could find sometime to go out with him...to which i find was a music to my ear coz i've been waiting for so long to hear that from him....asking me to go out with him not because me papakilala ako sa kanya but simply because he just wanted to go out with me and me alone...

our communication became constant after that sunday afternoon...he even told me that he would like to go with me since i mentioned to him one time that i want to have a vacation out of the country. i've been saving money for that grand vacation and just the thought that we'll be spending it together is like a dream come true..so i was too excited then... our supposed one night get away in tagaytay was cancelled because of his hectic schedule because he also suggested that for the time being, to relieve my stress, we can just go to tagaytay...

weeks passed by and we still couldn't find a time to meet again not until yesterday when he asked me if im available to go out with him that night...he fetched me from the office and the rest is.....secret..hehe 

Say You Love Me

Don't you know that I want to be more than just your friend
Holdin' hands is fine, but I've got better things on my mind
You know it could happen if you'd only see me in a different light
Maybe when we finally get together, you will see that I was right

Say you love me
You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
And don't treat me like I was ice, ooh, woo, woo

Please love me
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
And if you'd only say you love me, baby
Things would really work out fine

Don't you know that I want to be more than just your friend
Holdin' hands is fine, but I've got better things on my mind
You know it could happen if you'd only see me in a different light
Maybe when we finally get together, you will see that I was right

Say you love me
You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
Don't treat me like I was ice, ooh, woo, woo

Please love me
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
If you'd only say you love me, darlin'
Things would really work out fine

Say that you love me
Mmm...mmm...ooh...ho...ho...
Say that you love me
Mmm...mmm...mmm...

Hoo...hoo...baby
Would you say you love me
You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
Don't treat me like I was lice, ooh, woo, woo

Please love me
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
If you'd only say you love me, baby
Things would really work out fine

If you'd only say you love me, darlin'
Things would really work out fine
If you'd only say you love me, darlin'
Things would really work out fine

.....if you believe in..it could happen to you....

that's actually taken in one of my favorite songs...i must say im really hopelessly romantic...so much that i always ended up getting hurt...

this is one of my favorite song, especially the one which was performed by patti austin in one of her concerts, sobrang kaka inlove talaga. kaya whenever am at work sa manila times, people around me would already know my presence, basta this song is being played, kase ako lang naman ang nagpapatugtog ng kantang to as in buong maghapon... i dnt get tired listening to this song. 

maybe because somehow i can relate to this song, di ba sually naman ganun ang reason why we like a song. sana nga lang, that someone telling me it might be you is right, na sana nga sya na ung magiging ko partner ko in my life...God only knows, and i hope it's God who's telling me it might be YOU...yes you!

It Might Be You

Time
I've been passing time watching trains go by
All of my life
Lying on the sand, watching seabirds fly
Wishing there would be
Someone waiting home for me
Something's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it might be you
All of my life

Looking back as lovers go walking past
All of my life
Wondering how they met and what makes it last
If I found the place
Would I recognise the face
Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah it's telling me it might be you

So many quiet walks to take
So many dreams to wake
And we've so much love to make
Oh, I think we've gonna need some time
Many be all we need is time

And it's telling me it might be you
All of my life

I've been saving love songs and lullabies
And there're so much more
No one's ever heard before
Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it must be you
And I'm feeling it'll just be you
All of my life

May be it's you (it's you)
May be it's you (it's you)
I've been waiting for all of my life

thank you for coming into my life, even for just a moment. i know God has his own reason for doing so.....

there are some things that you simply just couldn't have, no matter how desperately you want to have it...lalo na kung feelings ang involve. manalig ka na lang na me darating o may mangyayaring mas higit pa sa inaasahan mo and this time, mas maganda at mas tama...kung kelan darating, that i don't know.

I can't make you love me

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
Don’t patronize
Don’t patronize

Coz I can’t make you love me
If you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something anymore
Here in the dark
In this final hour
I will lay down my heart
And I feel the power
But you won’t no you won’t
Coz I can’t make you love me
If you don’t

I close my eyes
Then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel
You’re holding me
Morning will come
And I’ll do what’s right
Just give me to tell
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

Coz I can’t make you love me anymore
You can’t make your heart feel something anymore
Here in the dark this final hour
I will lay down my heart and I feel the power
That you won’t no you won’t
Coz I can’t make you love me if you don’t